It was a Sunday, so I gathered Ash to the family room sofa and turned on virtual church. We were running late, go figure. Service was well underway when I turned on the television and clicked open the YouTube channel. So I slid that tiny red dot back to the beginning.
I thought of my dad as I sang along to one of the devotional songs of my youth. One that he often sang at my childhood church. My heart settled in worship as they sang a second song as a nod to last Sunday and our celebration of Christ’s resurrection. And then the sermon. Which my Pastor always typically preface with an anchoring scripture. Today it was from John, chapter twenty-one. I’ve heard this passage of scripture, this story, taught plenty of times before.
The scene, post the crucifixion of Jesus. Peter and some of the other disciples return to their old occupation of fishing. They’re either totally over the discipleship thing, so they go back to the careers Jesus told them to leave, or they’re just trying to pass the time with an old skill. Either way, these expert fishermen fish all night and catch nothing until Jesus appears at daybreak and tell them exactly where to send their nets down to catch plenty of fish, which they do. And, scene.
I’ve heard it before, and its implicating lesson of failure at doing something your way versus success with doing what God has directed you to do. But the thing about my Pastor is that he tends to give new enlightenment to these familiar passages, and he does so at the most ideal time.
Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him; We also go with thee. They went forth and entered into a ship immediately, and that night, they caught nothing. -John 21:3
This lesson is not in any way to compromise your work, or what it is you do—something that you have become proficient in, something that you have earned a degree in, something that you have worked hard to establish. It is not in any way meant to conflict your profitability or to bring consternation to your bottom line. This lesson is not to cause you to be ambiguous because of what you’re doing. For all of us, to a degree, think that money is a blessing. And it is, if it’s received correctly….If you see a profit in your labor, that’s great. Unless it’s something that God told you not to do.
I’ve heard teachings that I don’t necessarily agree with, and I don’t have any problem telling you. I’ve heard people when asked, ‘how do you know if it’s what God wants you to do? If you’re doing what it is God is called you to do, how do you know what God is saying? And I’ve heard some well-meaning souls; well-meaning bible teachers say things like, ‘well, if it’s what you do naturally, then that’s what God wants you to do.’ And when I heard that I said, ‘whoa, wait a minute.’ You see, God has a way of changing what is normal—something that is in your family, something that you have a proclivity for, and giving you another assignment.
Some of the assignments that God can give you, you are not proficient in it. And if you had something to say about it, you would not have even chosen yourself. Sometimes God will have you in the middle of something that you are unfamiliar with, something that you are uncomfortable doing, something that pulls you out of your comfort zone and he will pull you out there and leave you. And the reason He’s doing that is because He does not want you to trust in you. …You cannot depend upon your own ability. Now, this doesn’t mean that you become lazy. It means that you have to have anointed ideas.
…He (Peter) pulled Thomas and Nathanial. And then he called James and John. And they said, ‘I’m with you.’ It could have been that he called James and John because they were in the like occupation that Peter was in. Both of them were proficient and professional fishermen. I want you to understand that when you stop having anointed ideas, you have the proclivity to go back to what you’re familiar with.
…I remember when James and John were on their father’s boat, and Jesus walked up to them and said, drop your nets, come on out of that business, because… I’m going to make you fishers of men. …He told Peter the same thing, I’m going to make you fishers. But you’re not going to fish trout or flounder or cod or bass; you’re going to fish-men, which is an entirely different occupation. They may have similarities, but they also have great differences. You have a different agenda; you have a different means of catching. …It just popped up in his (Peter) mind, ‘I tell you what, I’m going back fishing’…God didn’t call you out for you to go back. If he wanted you to do that, He could have left you there. He didn’t say I wanted you to fish-men and fish. He said, come on out, drop your net.
…Drop your net. Your net is the operable word because we all have things that we can be doing. ..I need you to drop what it is that’s convenient for you. And I need you to recall what God has called you to do. Because the truth of the matter is, there can never really be any peace until you find yourself in lockstep with what God has called you to do.
…God has called you to a higher place. …those things that used to satisfy you will no longer satisfy you. It isn’t that it’s sinful; it’s just that it’s an unanointed idea. It isn’t that it’s wrong; it’s just that it’s not what God has called you to do. It’s not that God hates what you’re doing, but it’s not where God has called you to be.
….Let me tell you how you know you’re doing the right thing. Because it might be rough, it might be difficult, it might not fall together, but there’s a joy on the inside that cannot be replaced with anything else.
It can be a good idea, but it might not be a God idea… …You know what God has called you to do. You know that you started doing it, but it got tough, and you retreated back to your old habits. But I’m through with unanointed ideas. …And so they (Peter and the disciples) went back and toiled all night long. Some of you are determined to have it your way. But no matter how determined you are. You can sit there and call your friends that are as proficient as you are and toil all night long.
They sat there all night long, hoping that something would bite all night long and nothing happened… I know you’re looking across the fence saying, well, they can do it. But what did God call you to do? …All night long, working, toiling, all night long, hoping, praying. All night long, using my skills, using what I’m good at. All night long, but I ain’t catching nothing. I’m disgusted. I’m disturbed.
Before you give up…
…Jesus was waiting on the day to break. The day breaks, and the sun comes up. Jesus standing on the shore, He calls out, ‘Children, have you any meat?’ …God knows right where you are. Children, have you any meat? You’re doing something that I didn’t call you to do. …Have you caught anything? Has your idea netted you any profit? Children, have you any meat? And they cried back, ‘no.’ …But he told them let your net down on the right side. …The problem is that you’re on the wrong side. And when he said that, they let it down, and immediately, fish started coming from everywhere.
–Pastor Marvin Winans
I keep replaying this sermon. (And FYI, this is not the whole sermon, just snippets. You can listen to the entire sermon here.) For some reason, I cannot stop listening to it. For some reason, it settled on my mind and refused to be filed away. Brian came back downstairs an hour or so after we had finished watching church and saw me replaying it on my laptop, “you’re watching it again?” Yes! Because something about this lesson is different than all of the other times I’ve heard it. It feels like a whisper of a cue; something about it has taken my attention. I echo the caveat that my pastor gave. This blog post is not me saying that I’m “dropping my net” tomorrow to pursue something monumental.
However, I think I’ve queried about “the anointed idea” at least a couple of times. There was my blog post last year on feeling like Vanellope Von Scheetz. And just a couple of months ago, I wrote a blog post asking myself what it is that I really want to do. And then, on a drab spring, Sunday morning, I was reminded that you can never really be at peace until you find yourself in lockstep with what God has called you to do. Possibly the thing you started doing but retreated from because you weren’t fluent in it.
There are a couple of plot twists that I don’t know if I will ever fully understand or see the why. One being my sweet Ethan. But I’ve always been able to look back and see this beautiful orchestration of my life, things happening then for certain things to happen later. And I’ve always been thankful for that because it has continuously strengthened my faith and comfort in God. And then, I came to this place of trying to figure out “my dream game” and “what I want to do.”
Now, as this church sermon demands my reflection, I more conscientiously resolve that God called Vanellope Von Scheetz to a higher place. The Sugar Rush racetrack course that used to satisfy her no longer satisfied her. Not because it was a bad racetrack; it just was not where God called her to race. The Slaughter racetrack was rough and way more difficult, but she found great joy in its challenge. Slaughter Race was her “dream game.” I can’t imagine that she would or should go back to the familiar convenience of Sugar Rush. And if you have no idea what the heck I’m talking about, watch Wreck-It Ralph Breaks the Internet. Or just read my blog post about it.
Now, I sit here, with the recollection of my life. What has God called me to do? That’s the thing that I want, really want to do.
