On Loving People you don’t Like

I have a horrible poker face. Actually, I have a horrible poker everything. If I like, or don’t like, something or someone it tends to be somewhat evident (my face, my body language, what I say….) no matter how much I try to hide it. I’ve had to really, really, work on this when it comes to people. There are going to be people, co-workers, family members, in-laws, who you have to love even if you don’t like them. I don’t mean “love” as in forcing unviable relationships, trusting untrustworthy people, or even going with the flow of unsavory character (i.e gossipers, manipulators, the disingenuous, the crazies). I mean love as in practicing some of its principles when you have to interact with them, being kind, patient, respectful, and not easily angered. Yes that was pulled directly from the Bible (lol)!

I can’t give blatant examples of my experiences with certain people for obvious reasons, but there are some people who your frequency of engagement is very minimum and so the probability of you being successful at showing love may be slightly better. You know, you tell yourself, I only have to deal with them once every blue moon so I can handle that. Then there are those individuals who your frequency of engagement is a little more than you would like, and so the task may leave you with a little nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach.

One thing I tell myself is that respect is neutral. I don’t have to agree with anything you do, at all, in order for me to have a very basic level of respect for you. With that in mind, I have found that most of the time I can be cordial. Even if it’s with very minimal simple greetings and generic, brief conversations. Beyond this, I do tend to fall back on the saying, if you can’t be nice Amyre, be quiet.

Something else I have had to remind myself of is that I don’t want to be like the person I don’t like. I don’t want to have an ugly heart or give off bad, ugly vibes. I’ll often hear Whitney Houston in that ladies night scene from Waiting to Exhale saying, “If ya ugly inside, ya ugly outside…” Being ugly is just not cute. So… yeah.

Then there is prayer. Yes, some people I have to take to Jesus! I say that with some lighthearted humor but also in all sincerity. Frankly, there are a couple of people who make my “Spidey-sense” go off! Naturally, with people like this my instinct and preference would be to just not deal with them. Sometimes that’s not an option though. In those cases, I pray and ask for help and guidance on how I should be. (I also pray for accurate Spidey-sense and that my eyes are never closed to what I need to see with these people).

Like I said, I’m a work in progress with this one! If you ever see me in the company of someone who I don’t particularly care for and you catch a glimpse or quick vibe of conflicting emotions from me, just know, I’m trying.

How do you deal lovingly with people you don’t like?

Photo Credit: Nicholle Kobi/Instagram (a new obsession I’ll write about later)