I AM my hair

Tamar Braxton shaving her hair off last month was like, wow**insert multiple heart eyed emojis**! Either way she is a beautiful woman but the gorg beams and freeness that radiated from her in her post chop Instagram pictures were a little mesmerizing. I had no intention of shaving my head, but just for kicks I asked Brian the next day, would he be upset if I shaved my hair off? His response was, “yes because I love how pretty your natural hair is.” His follow up, “but I’m not opposed to the idea of it…”

I’ve always felt that a woman’s style should be what makes her feel like herself. Your style, your choices of clothes, hair, and make up, should give you beautiful, and powerful confidence. There are some women who are die hard team natural and then there are women who make it clear that they want to be buried in their favorite wig unit. I’m for it all. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with a hair weave just as there is nothing wrong with a natural twist out as long as you are doing it for you and not because you are captive to a notion.

I remember the time I got some blonde highlights, trying to “do something different.” I woke up the next morning, looked in the mirror, and thought what in the world have you done?! I felt like hiding! The hair style itself was pretty but I felt it was too much attention for me. I also remember the time I got a feed in braid bun and found myself taking those braids down a few days later. Feed in braid buns are gorg but I just didn’t feel pretty with it. I thought why am I forcing this? It’s cute for someone, but not me. No need in crippling my confidence for a hair style.

I recently took my sew in hair weave down. For the ladies who know how this works, you can imagine what I mean when I say after taking down all of the braids; my hair was in a glorious natural form. It apparently had done a little growing because my crimpled coils now had some hang time. My hair appointment was not until the next day so I had to walk around for an entire 24 hours with a big braid out look. So, I styled it. I left the sides and back down and put a big bun in the middle. Brian went on compliment frenzy for those 24 hours. Yes Brian, I get it. You love my natural hair!

I looked in the mirror at my hair more than usual that day trying to gather my own thoughts about my natural hair. How would I feel wearing my hair like this to work? Could this be a new style for me? That India Arie song started playing in my head, I am not my hair….I am not my skin…. I kept staring at it, moving my head around in various angles trying to analyze it all.

The more I stared at it, the more I loved it. I started thinking about all the things I liked about my hair. It’s brown, an interesting kind of brown. It’s resilient; I’ve always seen it come back no matter the damage. It’s flexible, coarse to silky, press n curl to box braids, it can do it all! After a few moments, I thought; hold on, I AM my hair! …brown, resilient, and flexible…I am so my hair!

This is totally not to discredit the message of India Aries’ song of not letting outward appearances and peoples criticisms and self-reflective issues of what should be the “norm of appearances” define who you are or as Tamar said, your OWN criticisms or self-reflective issues hold you hostage but I’ve been feeling a fresh pride about my hair **flips hair over shoulder**.

I didn’t shave all of my hair off, but I think I’ve found my own freeness in just completely owning what’s mine. I’m considering banging out some bangs soon! Thanks Tamar for the gorg inspiration! xoxo

Would you consider a buzz cut?