It’s the last day of the decade and I’m headed to church. Partly because it is tradition, ingrained from childhood. But mostly because I’m grateful and I feel indebted to God for everything and going to church is a good way and place to express that. This time of year always brings all of the emotions to surface. Reflection does that. This year was some way. I lost my older brother. I was hoping I would have time to make it back to Alabama to see him. I didn’t. I looked to God as my dad went through treatment for the same thing I lost my brother to. That was the beginning of the year. By the latter part of the year I found myself struggling through tiredness. I was more tired than I think I have ever been. Physically, mentally, emotionally…. exhausted. Those were the trying moments of 2019.
Outside of my own family we lost some amazing people this year. John Singleton, Toni Morrison, Nipsey Hussle, John Witherspoon, Diahann Carroll, Jessye Norman, Representative Elijah Cummings, John Conyers, Lashawn Daniels, thank you for all of your inspiration.
I did make it back to Alabama for my dad’s side of the family’s reunion. The food was crazy good. We celebrated Brian’s 37th birthday and my 36th birthday. We spent Asher’s third birthday in Disney World with fireworks and magic. My mom turned seventy-one this year. In October our family celebrated my dad’s 80th. All of us are in good health.
I’ve driven down I-94 and M-14 to 96 more times than I can count this year, took my first train ride to Chicago, and I’ve traveled those friendly skies thousands of miles, every time finding my way back to home sweet home.
I spent my very first night away from Ash this year and we all survived. Huge shout out to my mom for helping with that. Then there was The Commissioned Reunion tour, which was everything!
Outside of my own little world, there were some beautiful moments in the world around me. Like the “I am my brother’s keeper” moment at the beginning of the year where the UCLA basketball player, Jaylen Hands, walked over and lifted his teammates chin up after he slumped in disappointment from making a pass that ended up in lost possession. Or the seven black men and women who made Oscar history, winning categories in front and behind the camera. Including my fave (the gorg) Regina King. There was the Detroit Youth Choir on America’s Got Talent. The star-studded grand opening of Tyler Perry’s studios, which was a whole movement in itself, and the fact that black women ruled basically every beauty queen title this year, Miss Teen USA (Kaliegh Garris), Miss America (Nia Franklin), Miss USA (Cheslie Kryst), and Miss Universe (Zozibini Tunzi).
Speaking of Queens, there was the movie Queen and Slim, which I have yet to see but anticipate my love for it. There was everything about Kelly Rowland’s style, Halle Berry’s DMX challenge (which she won hands down in my opinion), the Lupita and Zendaya Lancôme ad, and the absolute fierceness of pianist Chloe Flower who I started following on IG this year.
So, I’m headed down 94 (again) to church. To sing, clap, and praise God. Partly because it is tradition but mostly because I owe Him everything. And then some. This year had a lot of heaviness. This year has been some way. But God is good. My family and I have life and health, two things that void all of the gray. And there were a lot of beautiful moments I was able to witness in the finale of this decade.
I’m saying farewell to this year in a different kind of tone than my previous farewell posts. I’m writing this with more freedom.
See you in the new year. Wishing it to be prosperous, happy, healthy, peaceful, and blessed. All my love, Xo
Photo credit: Molly Goddard/Instagram
