Every Woman: Jasmine

So flashback about 20 years ago in the D (aka Detroit for those unfamiliar). Life was sweet with public school prosperity, community connection, and the best era of formative years (in my opinion). Keep pressing the plus button to zoom in even more and nostalgia will flash glimpses of me and Jasmine Donaldson (aka Jazz at the time) in the hallways of Coffey Middle School being young girlfriends. She lived a few blocks east of me (and a little bit further North, closer to 8 mile) in a light-colored brick, corner house. I easily remember her prophetic love for the color green, how she routinely wore her hair down in a wrap, and her favorite Looney Tunes character, the Tasmanian devil. I smile at the recall of us snatching scenes from Clueless, swerving our hands at each other, singing “rolling with the homies.” Oh the wonderful 90’s. And then it was time for ninth grade, and we went separate ways in the Detroit high school trinity at the time. She became a Technician (aka Cass Technical High School student). I chose to attend Renaissance High School. No worries, I don’t hold your choice against you Jazz.

Here we are over twenty years later, both working moms with three-year-old yummies. We’ve kept in “social media contact” but haven’t seen each other in person since… Coffey. The beautiful thing is when I saw her a couple of weekends ago, it didn’t feel like it had been that long.

Funny the different memories our brains tend to hold on to. Jasmine off the bat recalled her inspiration for becoming the captain of the majorettes at Cass, “Your sister being a majorette made me want to be a majorette… when we used to play I would be like, ‘Can I touch your baton?’ And she’d be like, ‘Yeah.’ And I remember us going outside (I have a good memory with stuff like this) … We went outside and I was playing with that thing, I didn’t know what I was doing. I was like, ‘I’m going to do this.’ And I did it! And I was the captain!” Moral of the story, big sisters let your little sisters (and our friends) play with your stuff. It inspires us to be great (lol)!

After Cass, Jasmine went to Eastern Michigan University and graduated with her Bachelors of Science in electronic media and film studies. She started her career working as a producer trainee in Saginaw and after a year was offered an opportunity as a producer in Las Vegas. After three years in Vegas, she came back to Michigan to work as a producer in Kalamazoo for about a year. For the past six years though, she has been a news producer at Fox 2 Detroit. At 2 o’clock every morning while many of us are still sound asleep, (or not so sound because Ash is kneading my back with his sweet little feet) Jasmine is up developing the newscast for our favorite morning anchors. You go Jazz!

On Growth

What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

I think to slow down. I feel like when I was growing up I was in such a rush. I think as young people everyone is in a rush. You know, when you’re sixteen you want to be eighteen, when you’re eighteen you want to be twenty-one. I’ve been in a rush all my life and I feel like it wasn’t until my thirties that I decided to slow down. I finished college in four and a half years. I was ready to get out, so I got out. I wanted to start working, so I started working. But then I realized, well, I finished so quickly, everybody else is still in college. So I was one of the only people who was out of school and I was like, well this isn’t fun. And then, you know, as I started living my life it was like I wanted to rush and be in a relationship. And then it was like, well this ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. You know, I could be doing a lot of more fun things in my life but I was so focused on trying to grow up so fast. I think if I could do it all over again that’s one of the lessons I wish had taken advantage of earlier in life. Just to live in the moment and just embrace where you are at that moment as opposed to looking to the future, constantly looking to the future. You know, you gotta get your job, you gotta get your husband, you gotta get your kids, you gotta do all this. And then you look up and it’s like do you even remember what happened in the past ten minutes.

What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?

I think I have more patience. Kids do that to you because you’re on their time. As a producer I have so much control over things. You know, ‘I don’t like this; I’m gonna change it.’ ‘I don’t like the way this is going, I’m not doing it.’ But with them, you’re on their schedule. And if she doesn’t feel like putting on her shoes, we’re going to sit there for the next twenty minutes until I can either put her shoes on, or let her wear these sparkly cowboy boots that she wants to wear every single day. She’s definitely taught me patience and just how to slow down… Sometimes you can be so anxious. You can be so… hurry up, hurry up. And she… she moves at her own pace.

When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?

**Laughs** Aside from this? This is very new. **Laughs** Maybe it would be trying a different hairstyle. Some of my baby pictures I look exactly the same. But I’m so scared of changing my hair, changing my style. Because once you do it, it’s like, you’re not stuck with it but it’s like, it is what it is. So you cut your hair, it’s gone, you have to wait until it comes back. …I tried a new hairstyle and I actually really liked it and I’m looking forward to doing it again. I got a full sew-in and I’ve never done that. And I’m thirty something but I was just so worried about it looking, not like me. I think I have a fear of not looking like me, whether it’s make-up, whether it’s hair, whatever it is, I want to still look like myself. I did it and I liked it and I’m probably going to do it (again) real soon.

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

I always wanted to learn how to play an instrument. I think there is something to be said about people who play music and can read music. Being in the band when I was in high school, we were around all musicians. They could listen to songs, pick them up, write notes, and play them. I think that’s kind of a lost art. Kids don’t play instruments anymore. It teaches you discipline. It teaches you how to get along with people. I played the clarinet in second grade and my teacher made me play in front of the class and I messed up. I was like ‘I don’t want to do this anymore.’ I wished I would have stuck with it.

On Randomness

What was the last book you read?

Michelle Obama’s book, Becoming. She’s extraordinary. She is awesome. I really enjoyed her book. Her strength is just… coming from Chicago. She talks about taking the bus from one side of town to the other side of town. That’s a struggle. Her parents paying for her to actually go away to school. Those are the things that we don’t think about when we look at celebrities. She fought to become one of the strongest people in the world. I think what I like most about her is, she didn’t do anything abnormal. It just seems like she is herself. She’s amazing. She’s great.

What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?

Talk less. Talk less because I mean, it’s so powerful. Sometimes you gotta shut up and listen, whether it be to God, whether it be to people who know more than you. Just talk less.

What is one thing you can’t live without?

My baby. My baby… as crazy as she is, she just brings so much light to my life. I’ve always wanted to be a mom because I think that I’ve always had this caring spirit. It might be the ‘only child’ in me too. I just, I just care so much. When I’m not with her, I’m thinking about her. Even if I know she’s safe, I just wanna know what she’s doing, where she’s at, or what she’s thinking about, or did she eat enough today. So I don’t see how I’ve lived this long without being a mom cause it’s like the greatest feeling in the world.

What are you most thankful for?

I am most thankful for the relationships that I’ve built over the course of my life. Like I said, being the only child, I lean on quite a few people for support, for love, for encouragement. I get it through them, through my family, through my friends. That type of love is irreplaceable. You can’t buy something like that. Ain’t enough money in the world to give you those types of things. So I’m most thankful for those relationships.

What’s something that offends you?

Rude people. I don’t like rude people. It’s so unnecessary. My mom taught me to always say ‘thank you,’ to always say ‘please.’ When somebody is picking you up and giving you a ride, you should be standing at the door. Don’t make people wait. I just don’t like rudeness.

On Inspiration

What inspires you the most?

It sounds a little cocky saying I get it from myself but I feel like I’ve worked so hard for everything that I have and everything that I’ve done that I’m the person who pushes me. You know, I’m the person who’s like ‘yeah, I know you’re tired but get up.’ ‘I know you’re sad or you’re upset but keep going.’ ‘I know this baby has been screaming all day and you gotta go do x, y, and z but you also have to do a, b, and c, so get up and just keep going.’ It sounds so cocky to say I inspire myself. I’m my own inspiration but you know, I think that I’ve grown the voice inside of me to become such a strong voice that that’s who I listen to and that’s the person who pushes me.

I wrote a blog post called “Notes from 4 women I adore,” … It’s my favorite thing to ask in my ‘Every Woman’ series. What four women do you adore and what notes have you taken from them?

The first one is my mom. I’ve always wanted to be strong like her. I almost look at her as like a superhero. Man, I just want that kind of strength, but I’ll never be as strong as her you know. She’s overcome so much. She’s done so much for me. I could never even imagine trying to repay her for any of that. She ain’t the most patient person in the world but she’ll give me her last of anything. She’s such a caring person. She’s honest but caring. She might fuss at me, she might yell, but I know it’s coming from a loving place. I’ve always been a momma’s girl. Like, always. I can remember being in her room sometimes and watching her and seeing her look so tired but just knowing that she’s still gonna take me where I need to go. She’s still gonna give me everything I need. I’ve never had to ask for anything. She’s always supplied for me. So… she is one of them.

My second is my grandma.That’s my second mom. She’s just, she’s amazing. She will cook three meals a day. She still cooks three meals a day. She’s one of those southern women that just does it all. She dropped a lot stuff for her own family. She gave up a lot of stuff for her family. She’s always been the woman of the house. She took care of everybody. When I had my child and I went back to work, she took care of my child. I know so many people my age who don’t have their grandmother and I’m like I don’t understand how you can live without… like I don’t know where I would be without her. She’s just… she’s the most caring and giving person that I know. I think she’s helped build my confidence as a woman. She’s always told me that I could do stuff when I felt like I couldn’t do it.

The third woman or I guess women, would be a group. My friends. I have so many amazing friends. I mean… they are just amazing. I call them for advice, if I need a favor. Being an only child sometimes you start to feel like you have nobody to depend on as you get older because it’s just you. A lot falls on you. A lot falls on me as a daughter, me as a person and when I feel like I can’t do stuff, I call them. They always answer…most of the time they answer. And when they answer, they’re honest. I know they’re not gonna try and blow my head up. They wish the best for me. You like being surrounded by people who wish the best for you. Even when I told them I was doing this. They were excited. And I’m like ‘uh it’s not that big of a deal guys.’ They were like, “What?! It’s not that big of a deal?! It’s a huge deal.” They’re just amazing. I have a friend in Atlanta, I have friends here in Detroit that we never go a couple of days without talking to each other. But even if we do, we fall back where we were. It’s not like, ‘Uh well hey..what’s going on? Are you still my friend anymore?’ I know I can call them for anything.

The fourth woman is… Michelle Obama. Being the first black First Lady of the country. You just think of the things that they used to say about her. The way that they used to degrade her… But she was just strong. She held still. She stood in who she was. She was so graceful. She just seems like one of those people who every time you try and knock her down…. she’s popping right back up. She’s a person to be admired. If I could meet her it would just make my entire day.

What makes you feel empowered?

Being a woman makes me feel empowered. I have so many wonderful women in my life. I keep going back to strength. But it just seems like black women get hit with so much. You get hit with so much and you’re still expected to, not cry, be strong, keep doing your job. But they bounce back. They bounce back stronger, wiser. It just seems like you can’t keep a black woman down. I think it’s so true.

On Legacy

What’s the thing you most want to achieve before you die?

So much. So much. One thing? I just want to leave my mark on my daughter. I just want to make sure that I can… I just want to make sure that I give her every single thing that she needs to become the most successful, caring, human being in this world. There are so many humans who are just not great humans. I don’t want to leave my child here not giving her everything that she needs to be equipped for this world. I think that’s what I want most of all at this point in my life. I’m sure as I get older that will continue to change. But with her being so young, I just want her to be an incredible human being. That’s what I want most before I die.

Thank you so much Jasmine. We will definitely do lunch again soon. We have twenty years to catch up on! Hugs and kisses and hands swerving… rolling with the homies.

Photo credit: Timothy Blanks

P.S. Every Woman: Ideeyah, Renee, and Anesha…