Every Woman: Ideeyah

Some time ago I decided I wanted to add another element to my blog. I thought, you shouldn’t just focus on how you live and manage life, you should also talk to other women because hey, we are all trying to figure this thing out together. So, I came up with a list in my head of dope “every woman” women who, in my eyes, are living the heck out of life. Women who make me stop scrolling when I see them on my timeline. Women who are beautiful, courageous, and inspiring. Women who I don’t necessarily talk to on a regular basis, but the light that beams from them makes me just… love them.

LaKeisha Johnson a.k.a Ideeyah was at the very top of my list. I met Keisha when I was in high school. We were both a part of a youth theatre company in Detroit called Mosaic. Confidence. That was my first impression of her. But not the kind of “confidence” that comes from delusions of grandeur (Lord knows I’ve seen my fair share of delusions of grandeur) or the kind of confidence that is condescending. But that beautiful and intriguing confidence that… inspires you.

It’s been well over 15 years since I saw Keisha in person. We’ve remained connected only through social media. But us not being BFFs with regularly scheduled brunch dates had no effect on the love and respect (and laughter) that flowed when we met up a couple of Sundays ago.

After Mosaic and high school, Keisha went on to Wayne State University, started a career in education, got married (now separated after 8 years), had a son, started a couple of bands, and put out a couple of albums, Collective Peace and her solo album Brave in 2017.

She has traveled across the world, toured Europe with Theo Parrish and Amp Fiddler, and done a couple of collaborative projects with Waajeed, formerly of the Platinum Pied Pipers.

Basically since I saw her last she hasn’t missed a beat. I was beyond excited to sit down and talk to her about life, motherhood, inspiration, and style.

On inspiration

I wrote a blog post called “3 rules I live by,” what are your 3 rules?

Don’t lie. …Always be truthful.

Have fun in everything that you do. If you can’t find fun in things that you’re doing, then why are you doing it? I try not to take myself too seriously and that’s why I try to make that a rule of mine so that I don’t get too bored doing things that seem monotonous.

And this is still one that I’m still learning to really live by, and this is going to sound super-duper cliché, I know it is, but it just is what it is, but to be brave and to keep doing things that force me outside of my comfort zone. I spent a lot of time just doing things that were safe and things that I knew were low risk and things that didn’t push me toward growth. So now that’s a new rule I guess, to be brave and do the things that scare you so that when someone asks you what are you afraid of you can very confidently tell them, nothing.

I also wrote a blog post called “Notes from 4 women I adore,” who do you adore and what notes have you taken from them?

Nina Simone. Nina Simone because at one point in her career she decided I’m not going to do what everybody expects me to do anymore. I’m not going to play the songs, sing the songs, write the songs that are safe anymore because that’s what you want me to do. It came at a time where she realized that artists are supposed to change with the times, and even though she knew that speaking out on a lot the injustices that were taking place around our country and around the world at the time, she knew that she was going to lose a lot of her fan base and a lot of the white dollars that supported her and funded her career. She knew that she was going to lose a lot of that but she said that this is more pressing. This art is supposed to be changing, life changing, it’s supposed to be forward movement. The artist is supposed to change and evolve with the times and this is what is happening right now so I am going to use my platform. I’m going to use my voice and make sure that I push out a message that’s going to provoke people to change. Start a conversation, it might make people uncomfortable. She was like, people all over the country are uncomfortable. You are uncomfortable listening to me? Who cares.

Alice Coltrane. She’s from Detroit and just one of thee most influential jazz musicians who was just unafraid to test the limits of what jazz music was, or just music period. Just really forward thinking. Experimental. Just really created a genre all of her own. She played the harp. She played the piano. I was talking with a friend of mine about Alice Coltrane and we both agree that listening to her music, her live albums, always sounded like she was just praying in public. That’s what it felt like. Like she had recorded her prayers musically and released them for the world to hear. Eventually that’s what it got to. Turiyasangitananda, that was her name right before she transitioned. She had written a couple of books before she transitioned. …She never lost her edge as far as her music goes.

Millie Jackson. Because she’s Millie Jackson! She was honest. She was one of the first women to rap on albums. She wasn’t rhyming and stuff like that, but back in the day they called it rapping because you know, you took a beat in the middle of the song and just started talking or storytelling in the middle of the songs and she was one of the first women to do that. Men did that all the time in their music but Millie was one the first women. And she had no filter. Like none whatsoever. One of her album covers, I think the title of it, the name of the album was, (excuse me) “Back to the Sh*t” and she is actually sitting on a toilet. Like Millie! What are you doing? She was one of those women… she wasn’t a conformist. She was just like why can’t I do toilet humor and be a singer and a songwriter and keep the attention of an audience the way that a male artist does. Why can’t I do that? I have to stand up here and be pretty? No, I’m going to do a “F*ck You” symphony and I’m going to make it into a whole thing. I’m going to have a big orchestra and the only two words of the song are going to be “F*ck You.” I was just like this is genius! This is revolutionary! Millie Jackson for sure.

Erykah Badu. I met her a couple of times. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting her a couple of times. And I’m always star struck every single time I’ve met her and she is not even taller than me. I think we are like the same height. She’s a shorty. I don’t know… When she first popped up on the music scene she brought something that I think a lot of women didn’t know it was okay to be. We didn’t know it was okay to really embrace that part of our blackness, our heritage. To really be like no, no I am black, I am a woman, and I am very feminine, and I am going to wear a hair wrap, and I am going to dress in this, that, and the third, and I am not going to not practice these things in public. Not that we were doing it for show anyway but it was kind of a green light. Like hey, it’s alright to be yourself… Not only that, she’s kicked some major revolutionary knowledge over all of her music. With the collaborations that she had with Dilla, with Common, (what’s my man’s name, I think his name is) Kadur, like back, back in the day when she first started off. Her music was just groundbreaking. Not only that she is just an overall dope woman. …She’s made it so that it’s like you can’t demonize me for having three different baby daddy’s or whatever, cause that’s not something that I’m trying to hide. …She doesn’t shame them. I’m sure all of those relationships are not perfect and everything but she doesn’t shame them. She’s like you can’t shame me for any of my choices, cause I made them. And I own it. And I just think that is just really dope.

I like to see women being unapologetically themselves. And all four of those women were, are unapologetically themselves.

On style

Who do you reference for style?

There is not one person. I really like elements of Badu. I don’t like all of the things that she does, but I like some of the things. Like, oh man that jacket is dope or like that coat she has on is really really fresh. I really really really really really really like Rihanna’s style. I love Rihanna’s style. And somebody who’s always comfortable, like she’s sexy, but she looks comfortable in whatever she wears, Teyana Taylor. She looks really comfortable, like every time she’s on stage. Like yo I just want to be as comfortable as her. She’ll dress all the way up but then have on some Tims. I think that’s a New York chick thing. But it just looks so comfortable. It looks strong and she still looks sexy. It’s never just one person. It might be something I randomly saw on someone I don’t know.

How do you pick the looks for your performances?

I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. If I tell you this, you probably will not believe me. The only couple of times that I’ve used a stylist I’ve used Tanisha Prater of Thrift on the Ave, she’s styled me for quite a few of my Black Women Rock shows and Miss Paulette at Teasers Boutique. Those are the only two stylists that I’ve ever worked with and that’s only been with Black Women Rock. For everything else though, I literally dream about what I am going to wear. And then I go try to pull what I have to try to make it make sense. But I try not to think about what I am going to wear before a show. I wait, because that stresses me out. It really stresses me out thinking about what I’m going to look like. I try to be comfortable. In all of my looks I want to look strong and I want to incorporate a bit of sexiness and of course to look feminine. To look feminine and strong at the same time. I like to look sexy. And I like to look kind of futuristic.

What do you feel the most comfortable wearing day-to-day?

Leggings. Leggings. That’s because my waist line fluctuates (mine too, lol).

On motherhood

What has been the most challenging thing for you as a mother and how do you cope?

The most challenging thing now about motherhood is unfortunately having to divide my time because of co-parenting. I never ever want to be a part or away from my son. I don’t mean that in a selfish way, but I love being with him, cause he’s an amazing person. He’s very talented. He’s very sharp. He’s very innovative, just at (age) 7. He has such a really brilliant mind. I love talking to him, just spending time with him and hearing him ask me a million questions about the things he’s thinking about and how he can get ideas out of his head. Just seeing him go through the process of figuring it out and solving his own problems is just amazing to me. So to know that I am missing out on a bit of that. Like I said, not in a selfish way but because he spends time with his dad that’s probably the most challenging thing.

What’s something you want your child to always remember about his childhood?

The thing that I remember most about my childhood is the effort that I saw my mom make to really really really spend time with me. And it was just me, and my mom, and my brother. She used to work midnight’s and so when she got home it would be really late but she wouldn’t be mad at me if I wanted to get up and kinda kick it with her for a while. Even though I was like maybe seven, eight years old she wouldn’t send me back to bed immediately, like no go to bed, we can’t be up this late. She was like no it’s okay, I know you haven’t seen me tonight, it’s ok, things like that. I really remember her making sure that we got to spend time together and I really want my son to remember the time that we spend together and that it just makes an impact. Cause that definitely made an impact on me. So I’m hoping that he appreciates that as much I did when I was a kid.

On love

What has been your best relationship advice?

I don’t know… I always have a small issue with giving relationship advice at this turn. Just because…. and I don’t necessarily feel like my marriage was a fail or anything like that, I just look at it as its completed and I don’t know how receptive people are to completed marriages. There is something that I am following now on my own as I am navigating this new life of mine…. I know that we become one and that is really the best part about being married is you have somebody to think with. If you are like me I love having the opportunity to love on somebody and to take care of them. But you have to take care of yourself in the midst of that. If you are constantly pouring into someone else and you’re not getting that back… you are going to have to take care of yourself so that you don’t experience any type of lack. So that you know that whatever happens you got you in the end. Whether it keeps going forever and ever and ever…and your partner will appreciate you for taking care of yourself in that way. Whether that’s…if you meditate, if you work out, or if you have your once or twice a month spa days or something like that, take care of yourself, for sure. Make sure you’re going to the doctor. If you need to see a therapist, go see a therapist. Take care of you in the midst of you taking care of your family.

On dreams

Have you ever doubted yourself? How did you conquer that?

Yep. I did. A lot. How did I conquer the doubt? This is not good advice, sometimes it’s laziness and I don’t think that’s conquering it. I don’t know. I think sometimes there are moments where doubt is very heavy and sometimes the doubt is not so heavy and it’s easy to get from under it. But when it’s really really heavy I have a tendency to just sit still. To just sit still and wait until internally I’ve figured out a solution. And most times that waiting period is hard. Like I said it’s not very good advice.

In other moments, it’s just like ‘do it anyway.’ Do it scared. With putting out Brave I had a lot of doubt. I had a lot of fear. I had a lot of apprehension. I wasn’t sure how the album was going to be received seeing as I was a part of Collective at the time. And honestly it didn’t dawn on me that there was a possibility that people would receive it as ‘oh she’s breaking away from the group? She’s going solo?’ I was like, well no, that wasn’t the intention at all. …That thought didn’t even cross my mind until someone brought it to my attention. They were like ‘so are you guys still a group?’ I was like, ‘yeah we are still a group…why are people asking me that?’ The album (Brave)… I was concerned… I wasn’t sure if people wanted to hear an album from just Ideeyah. I knew that they knew who I was because of the band that I was in, because of who my ex-husband is and I knew that they wanted that type of music. They were used to the husband and wife duo. What if they weren’t rocking with this not jazz music or not easy listening music I was singing. I wasn’t sure if people were going to rock with just the R&B soul, type of experimental music that I was doing and that’s not what the group was doing. So I had a lot of doubt. I was like am I going to lose people? Am I going to damage the brand that we spent years building? And then something was like, don’t worry about that. Don’t worry about any of that. The people who this music is meant for, they will receive it, and it’s fine. Those that don’t receive it, probably not meant for them, maybe not right now. And I was okay with that. At the end of the day you have to be. So sometimes I just sit and wait and sometimes I just do it scared.

What are you currently working on?

Right now with my music I am not working on anything. I’m intentionally taking a break. I know at the top of the year I’m going to be working with somebody who’s very very influential and whose been like really holding me down for a long long time. We’re going to put out a project next year… Right now, I’m breaking.

On life

How do you keep all the pieces of you in balance?

I think that just comes with being a woman, honestly. I think that there’s something inside of every woman that just says if I don’t do it, then it won’t get done. I really just think it’s a woman thing. And I don’t mean that to sound reverse sexist or anything like that. But I just think it’s a woman thing. We just…I don’t know. I’ve been asked that question before…like ok so you work full-time, but you’re also an artist, and you’re a mom, and you also do this, and you do hair (you do hair too sis?!) ….and you take care of them and you do this and be over there too and how you manage to do that and be here? I’m a woman. I don’t know. I can’t explain it; we just get it done. At the end of the day we get like four, five hours of sleep and we right back up at it. I don’t know. I don’t have a straight answer for that (lol).

What do you want your legacy to look like?

…None of my family to come after me to be in debt at all. I want my legacy to look like, not just a survivor… I want it to look like… what do you call it when somebody was looked at as the underdog and against all odds and against all the opposition, they made it. They came out, maybe not completely wound less, or without any scars, but they really came through. What do you call that? Whatever the word is for that, that’s what I want my legacy to look like… I want my people to be free of any debts and I want my legacy to look like someone who prevailed.

Ideeyah, thank you for this! … So beautiful, confident, smart, and inspiring… So BRAVE. Thank you! All my love!

Photo credit: Timothy Blanks