Ethan’s Garden

Dear Ethan,

Three years ago today you were born. You were born on your grandma’s 67th birthday.

Three years ago we all spent her birthday at the hospital with you, holding you, rocking you, sad that we were saying hello and goodbye at the same time.

Three years ago you changed all of our lives.

For the past two summers your grandma has been building something special for you. We’ve all had to find ways to cope. Mine has been writing, hers has been gardening. Last summer she called me and told me she was going to build a special flower garden around one of the big trees in her backyard and wanted to name it “Ethan’s Garden”, if that was OK with me. I thought that was a pretty special idea.

She has been working very hard on it. Buying rocks, dirt, mulch…all the things your mommy doesn’t like to play in (smiles). But it’s done now. And it’s beautiful.

Ethan, I don’t know if we will ever understand why losing you was a part of our story. And I can accept that…

Me and daddy think about you a lot. One day your little brother will know about you too. He was a very handsome little bundle of joy, just like you were. And he is oh so strong, a little super baby! You would love him!

Today we are celebrating your grandma’s 70th birthday. We are celebrating you too. For all of the joy you brought us (even in a short period of time), all of the love and friendships that bloomed from you, all of the things you have taught us and inspired us to do, we love you forever.

A few years ago your cousin, Chris, called grandma’s birthday a “happy sad” day. We are happy because God has blessed grandma with another year of life, we are sad because we wish you were here.

Happy heavenly birthday…

Until we meet again my sweet beautiful angel…

Love,

Mommy

Photo credit: Timothy Blanks