So I was scrolling Instagram not too long ago and came across a vintage esque picture of an open magazine sitting on a muted yellow chair. It was a picture of Mirage magazine (I suppose), a fashion and culture magazine founded in 2009 by Henrik Purienne and Frank Rocholl. On one page of the magazine it read in big black bold script, “Give us three rules to live by.” On the opposite page was the response of Rocholl, “Buy a vintage car. Find a muse. Find a place in the sun. Not necessarily in this order.” Under that was the response of Purienne, “Take time to think. Once you know who you are, everything else is easy.” The caption from the person who posted the pic on Instagram was, “…Be present, love unconditionally, and be grateful…”
Of course this made me do a little pondering over the things I have told myself the most, the things I have lived by. Here are my three:
1. Do right and right will follow you
This is a direct quote from my dad that has been cemented into our family. So, you know how you can walk up to someone who grew up in a black church and start the phrase, “God is good….” and they will instinctively finish your sentence, “all the time!” If you walk up to me, my mom, or my sibs and say, “Do right…” we will all instinctively say, “and right will follow you.” It’s my dad’s summarization of a few bible verses and famous quotes.
There is also the quote “wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it and right is right even if no one is doing it.” I don’t know who originally said this but I like this one too.
Basically my dad’s lesson to us was, no matter what anyone else chooses to do, or how anyone else chooses to act, you make sure you do the right thing. When you choose to do the right things, right and good things will be your fortune. My dad totally lives by this. Because I’ve seen it in action in his life, I’m a sold believer in it. It is hands down the thing I have re-quoted and reminded myself of the most.
2. If you don’t work, you don’t eat
Ok, so I also have to credit my dad for dropping this aphorism into my psyche. I remember many moons ago I was complaining to him about how I didn’t want to go to work. (This was really just for the sake of complaining because I’ve always loved making my own money.) Anyway, he gave a little chuckle and said “well, the bible says if you don’t work, you don’t eat.” At the time, I actually really didn’t know the bible said that, but yep, it’s in there (2 Thessalonians 3:10). My parents are from a generation where hard work for survival was the way of life. So that’s what they taught us.
When my dad said this to me, it stuck with me. It’s probably the second thing I have re-quoted and reminded myself of the most. Not just in its literalness, but also metaphorically in a sense. Basically if you are not willing to put in effort for a thing, don’t expect anything in return. I sometimes even liken this to the economic principle, there is no such thing as a free lunch. For some reason this is like the one thing I remember from my high school economics class. In a nutshell the idea, as I’ve always understood it anyway, is you can’t get something for nothing. Like I said, these are the things that just stuck with me.
Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds. There is no beautiful harvest. If you don’t work, you don’t eat.
3. Enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going.
Joyce Meyer receives the credit for this one. I have read quite a few books authored by Joyce Meyer. I also have watched her numerous times on T.V. Out of everything I have heard her say, this has been the most influential thing. It has reminded me to not be so focused and anxious about the “end goal” or “end result” that I don’t enjoy my journey, the process, to it. As Joyce Meyer put it, “We are always going to be going somewhere. But in the reaching towards what lies ahead in the future, we must not lose sight of the now!” Agreed.
I had a patient once tell me that the reason time appears to go by so fast is because you are either living in the past or living in the future. He read me very well, “Amyre you are sitting here with me but your mind is probably also thinking about all of the things you have to do next. I’m sitting here with you and this is all I’m allowing my mind to focus on, the right now…” Note taken.
So tell me, what are some things you live by?
Photo Credit: Nicholle Kobi/Instagram
First things first, Dad and I were just having a conversation about multiple things yesterday and during the talk he said, “if you don’t work, you don’t eat, lol. So of course I chuckled while reading your first two because those are things said in the Shelton family very often if not every week.
Some of the things I live by (insert the thinking emoji)
Along with the first two you listed I would add another one I like that dad has always shared with us, “remember you’re no better then anyone else, you’re just different”. This nugget has always encouraged me to be unapologetically me, to walk in what makes me unique and own it while staying humble. Another one I live by is, “make time for yourself” this is a Kesh live by, I believe it is critical for everyone to do a little self love maintenance. I love being there for the people I love however I’ve learned I have to be there for me too. Taking time to do things that bring me balance has increased the quality of my life immensley. Whether its dancing/working out, having a pamper me day or unplugging from everything around me and taking a simple nap. I take and make opportunities to intentionally be self focused for a healthier me so I can be present in every aspect of my life. Thanks for sharing yours!